The Truth About Lies

Mar 8, 2008 at 11:39 AM
19 comments

There is a fine line between being brutally honest and being an asshole. Or is there? Whose company do you enjoy more – the careful, easygoing diplomat who never offends anyone or the edgy wise-ass who always tells it like it is? Most of us live in the middle somewhere, trying to find that unhealthy balance between Truth & Bullshit.

The politics of BS are built into all parts of our lives, public and private. Whether feigning agreement with your inept supervisor's moronic idea at work or shutting down to avoid arguments with your spouse, life provides no escape from mendacity. Concealing your convictions is a survival technique, which, ironically, slowly kills you inside.

That’s why I am proposing that April Fools Day be transitioned into Anti-Bullshit Day. What would be more satisfying, a day of lame pranks or a day full of unfiltered truth? By order of Federal Law, all U.S. citizens must now acknowledge April 1st as a “no-penalty” day for those speaking the absolute truth as they see it. Bosses cannot fire their employees and spouses may not request divorce as a result of the chaos unleashed under this long overdue holiday from Deception.

Fecal Free Zone

Tell your coworker he smells badly and that you had sex with his wife. Explain to your boyfriend that his penis is small and he humps like a last place contestant in the Special Olympics. The truth hurts sometimes, but the potential for positive gains is enormous. Your office mate may begin to bath regularly and your spouse might work a little harder between the sheets. Either way, you’ll have gotten a few anvils off your chest. As long as we're calling it April Fools Day, let's go all the way. What a wonderful world it would be.

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Comments

[this is good]

You got my vote!

[this is good]

I can only imagine that this would either lead to everybody killing each other, or ending up in a pub laughing about it.

This reminds me of this video and book that talk about how women apparently have to lie because society has taught them to...hmmm....like, hello. There's fibbing and saying little white lies to not piss off our friends and bosses now and again...and then there's just being a pussy.

Street Vein replied to CupCate’s comment:
Mar 8, 2008
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I disagree with: "75% of people lie in the workplace." I think it is closer to 99%. =) One of my favorite HST quotes: "I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours."

Loved this: "There's fibbing and saying little white lies to not piss off our friends and bosses now and again...and then there's just being a pussy."

[this is good]

I LOVE IT! I absolutely love the edgy wise-ass who always tells it like it is.
Anti- Bullshit all the way!!!

...still cleaning up the tea I snorted with the "humps like a last place contestant in the Special Olympics"....omg.

Yeah, I smirked while writing that one... sad, when I'm laughing at my own demented humor.

Actually, I find myself quite amusing and I figure that this will come in handy since I have to spend eternity ( or Whatever) in my own company.

I am married to someone always telling it like it is...and with 0 Tact.

She does not have many friends... which is a damned shame... you know where you stand at all times.

Street Vein replied to MainMor’s comment:
Mar 8, 2008
Reply

Well, tell her to stop it... it is not April Fools Day yet. =)

As long as you are entitled to say "you've put on a few pounds, dear" or "your meatloaf sucked tonight" then it seems like an even trade-off. Taking it while dishing it out is healthy, but one-way honesty can be cancerous.

Hmmm. I guess there IS truly a time to keep some things to yourself. For example, if I were to truly tell it like it is I would have to tell a few people at work what fat lazy slobs they are and some what pruneface bitches they are and...well.....there are times to be blunt, and times to shut up. As for managerial bullshit, though, that I call "bullshit" to it's face every minute of every day.

I think wise-asses are often just pussies in disguise. They might want to tell it as it is, but they still have to frame the truth as sarcasm so they can run and hide their lily white asses behind "I was only joking" if necessary.